I'm such a coward.

Lately, I've been faced with the realization that I am a complete coward.
Also, I am a bit of a useless human being sometimes.
Maybe people will think I'm exaggerating but. I dont know. I don't think I am. I know what I'm like, and i don't know how to fix it.

How did i become like this?
So completely dependant on other people and how much or how little they care for me. Or how big or little my part is in someone's life. Or something. The thing is, I can't help worrying that everyone will leave me someday.
I'm scared of being feeling lonely and being alone.
So i can never sacrifice anything for another.
Or maybe i'm just greedy and i want everything. Which i know is impossible. cuz life's never like that. Maybe i've been spoilt my whole life and it's time to grow the fuck up.
I just want to be happy.
I hate being so insecure about everything.
I hate myself.
The person i am.
I hate it so so much.