Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Something I've always wanted to do:

Smash plates.
just pick up plate after plate and throw them as hard as i can to the floor.
I want to watch them shatter, watch jagged edges form and watch the shards fly everywhere.

_

wish i had a dog

a big dog
like a husky or golden retriever
they're just so happy
and cute
and enthusiastic
and fluffy
and comforting
and perfect hugging size.

_

If i dont sleep now

i'll regret it tomorrow.
but my life is already filled with more significant regrets.
this one will hardly matter

_

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Shakespeare sonnet 141

In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
For they in thee a thousand errors note;
But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who in despite of view is pleased to dote;
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue's tune delighted,
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:
But my five wits nor my five senses can
Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unsway'd the likeness of a man,
Thy proud hearts slave and vassal wretch to be:
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain.


why is he so amazing?!


_

Heath Ledger is so cute

just sayin'.

_

Rant about Unity Books.

So today, in search of a book, I walked into Unity Books on High Street.
which is, by the way, a very charming bookstore.
I just want to curl up there and never leave.

I found this beautiful hardcover edition of Wuthering Heights..
I can't describe how difficult it was for me to not buy it...

AND OMG THERE WERE SO MANY OF THE MURAKAMI BOOKS! I WANT THEM ALL.
and there was a book of pablo neruda's poetry i wanted.. it had the original on one page and then the translation on the next....
 there were just shelves and shelves and stacks and stacks of books (as expected of a bookstore i suppose) and i felt so happy to just be surrounded by them.
 It's not that I havent been surrounded by so many books before.
but there are always other things around... like people studying in the library.. or like chain bookstores with the cards and the stationary and the videos etc...
but this was a bookstore. purely for books!
omg.

man.. if i ever win lotto.... that's the first place i'm gonna go for a shopping spree.

BUY ALL THE BOOKS!!!!

_

You know what annoys me?

People who blatantly talk on their phones in the general library.
but you know what annoys me even more than that?
people who murmur (on their phones or to each other)
ffs it pisses me off so much
that muffled, monotonous, continuos noise in the silence.
that humming
that buzzing
like seriously.
it distracts me so much.
GO TALK IN THE STAIRWELL FOR GOD'S SAKE.

_

Monday, September 26, 2011

Damn it.

Why is it that when i get an idea in my mind, I can't get it out?
I have to go and do whatever it is that occurred to me or i can't concentrate on anything else
>=(
i wish it acted as motivation. As in "i'll finish this quickly and then i'll go do that"
but it doesn't.
i just have an urge to drop everything.

_

Suddenly suddenly suddenly

feel sad
why?
the sun is chirping, the birds are shining
lol.
yet, i can't shake the feeling that something's not quite right.
it's creeping up on me again.
that anxiety
that regret
that inexplicable sense of unease.
i feel restless and worried.
i feel sadness regradring the things that i've lost
the people that i've lost
the friendships that i've lost
the times that i failed to do things right
the ties that were so carfully forged that have been cut.
I feel nostalgia for the past
I miss moments, people, places.

why do I feel this way suddenly?

it's not the middle of the night.

_

Reminder

English 345 - 35% Assignment (2000 words) due 29th
English 310 - 25% Assignment (2000 words) due 29th
FTVMS 307 - 30% Assignment (2500 words) due 4th
FTVMS 326 - 40% Assignment (3000 words) due 21st
FTVMS 309 - 30% Assignment (3000 words) due 5th

better stop being so slack if I don't wanna fail

_

Suddenly filled with unease.

 

_

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Clarence Principle

Can't stop thinking about it lately.
for some reason.

especially the man hanging from the crescent moon.

_

Friday, September 23, 2011

can't.stop.listening.to.this.song.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

(Somebody)
I used to know
(Somebody)
Somebody that I used to know
(Somebody)
I used to know
(Somebody)
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
I used to know
That I used to know
I used to know
Somebody

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Rain

Rain, midnight rain, nothing but the wild rain
On this bleak hut, and solitude and me
Remembering again that i shall die
And neither hear the rain nor give it thanks
For washing me cleaner than i have been
Since i was born into this solitude.
Blessed are the dead that the rain rains upon
But here i pray that none whom i onced loved
Is dying tonight or lying awake
Solitary, listening to the rain
Either in pain or thus in sympathy
Helpless among the living and the dead,
Like a cold water among broken reeds.
Myriads of broken reeds all still and stiff,
Like me who have no love which this wild rain
Has not dissolved except the love of death,
If love it be towards what is perfect and
Cannot, the tempest tells me, disappoint.

Edward Thomas

you.

are wonderful
:3

_

Saturday, September 3, 2011

WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT.


FUCK MY THUMB HURTS
WHYS THE BLEEDING NOT STOPPING
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
i'd rage about this on twitter but.. not enough characters.
fuck now i can't even repaint my nails.
omgggg
SO TYPICAL.
OF ME.
TO DO.
SOMETHING.
LIKE THIS.
THE NIGHT
BEFORE
THE BALL.
OMG
HURTS LIKE A BITCH.
pretty much stuck the blade of my scissors into my thumb
fun, right
the band-aid is soaked with my blood now.
OH JOY.

okay i'm done.

_