freedom oh freedom.
staying up late
overnighting
msning
skyping
getting home late (ish)
going out when i want and not really having to ask for permission most of the time.
sigh.
dont get me wrong.
i love my parents.
but i guess i'm just used to living without them
on another completely unrelated note.
i've been reading an excess of beauty blogs lately.
i am utterly amazed by the women in this world.
not in a condescending sort of way (of course)
but in a wow-i-cant-believe-they-are-so-dedicated sort of way.
yea, no i can't think of anything else to say. just felt like posting something.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
response
I feel slightly ashamed after reading the comment left by 'Anonymous' on my last entry.
I'm guessing i know who it is..
Anyway.
Of course i dont believe that life is filled with unhappines..
I have no right to be unhappy about my life.
Of course I cherish every moment i have with friends.
The hours spent in cafes, staring into space
The time we've sat around complaining about being bored but too lazy to get up and go do something.
Wandering around, loitering in cinemas, obstructing people's paths in various enclosed spaces.
All our conversations, talking about nothing and everything.
crazy late night talks - bitching, complaining, crying.
laughing hysterically.
wasting time
beacuse we think we have all the time in the world.
Of course i should be happy.
I am happy.
And as for love and forgetting.
=/
it depends on the person.
Some are weaker than others.
_
I'm guessing i know who it is..
Anyway.
Of course i dont believe that life is filled with unhappines..
I have no right to be unhappy about my life.
Of course I cherish every moment i have with friends.
The hours spent in cafes, staring into space
The time we've sat around complaining about being bored but too lazy to get up and go do something.
Wandering around, loitering in cinemas, obstructing people's paths in various enclosed spaces.
All our conversations, talking about nothing and everything.
crazy late night talks - bitching, complaining, crying.
laughing hysterically.
wasting time
beacuse we think we have all the time in the world.
Of course i should be happy.
I am happy.
And as for love and forgetting.
=/
it depends on the person.
Some are weaker than others.
_
Sunday, August 22, 2010
"And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong"
'The Rose' - Bette Midler<3
The world aims to tear us apart from the people we want to be close to.
Think of all the movies, books, songs about this.
Even the real life stories you've heard.
And there's all that crap about after overcoming the struggles and love never being easy and it wouldn't be worthwhile if it was so easy.
I'm sorry but that's bullshit.
I'd like to boycott the world if that's the case.
I'm not asking for life and love to be easy....
but...
wait. yea i am.
I think i bugged enough people last week with my question about "fate" (the closest english equivalent of the concept, i think..)
and really,
yea i think i'm right.
fuck.
i'm doomed to be unhappy then.
lol.
i'm just kidding, i'm not that cynical.
Yesterday, I watched "5 Centimeters Per Second: a chain of short stories about their distance" which is a Japanese animated feature film by Makoto Shinkai.
here's a video of the song from it
How many of us are looking for something that doesn't exist anymore?
Something that maybe only truly existed for a split second but has lived on in the blur between our memories and dreams?
Why is it so easy for words and feelings to be drowned out in this world?
Things we never get to say, never get to express..... how do we shake that feeling of regret?
How do we forget that which we have lost?
Distance, and time makes us forget, but leaves us with an inexplicable feeling of loss and heartache.
So that you're constantly looking for shadows of what used to be there because you can no longer picture it in your mind.
oh how the world messes with us.
_
The world aims to tear us apart from the people we want to be close to.
Think of all the movies, books, songs about this.
Even the real life stories you've heard.
And there's all that crap about after overcoming the struggles and love never being easy and it wouldn't be worthwhile if it was so easy.
I'm sorry but that's bullshit.
I'd like to boycott the world if that's the case.
I'm not asking for life and love to be easy....
but...
wait. yea i am.
I think i bugged enough people last week with my question about "fate" (the closest english equivalent of the concept, i think..)
and really,
yea i think i'm right.
fuck.
i'm doomed to be unhappy then.
lol.
i'm just kidding, i'm not that cynical.
Yesterday, I watched "5 Centimeters Per Second: a chain of short stories about their distance" which is a Japanese animated feature film by Makoto Shinkai.
here's a video of the song from it
How many of us are looking for something that doesn't exist anymore?
Something that maybe only truly existed for a split second but has lived on in the blur between our memories and dreams?
Why is it so easy for words and feelings to be drowned out in this world?
Things we never get to say, never get to express..... how do we shake that feeling of regret?
How do we forget that which we have lost?
Distance, and time makes us forget, but leaves us with an inexplicable feeling of loss and heartache.
So that you're constantly looking for shadows of what used to be there because you can no longer picture it in your mind.
oh how the world messes with us.
_
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
project, assignment, same thing
what i am trying to say is, this video below is very relevant and relatable.
qq
_
_
Sunday, August 15, 2010
As we go on, we remember, all the times we had together
And as our lives change, from whatever. We will still be, friends forever~~
hehe cheesy much?
xp
good old Vitamin C
Bye Alex =(
i mean it's not like he's the first person that ever left...
and he IS coming back to visit... in 4 months
but it just seems like i've lost something. We have drifted apart a little in the past few years i suppose but i never hesitated to say he was one of my close friends.
Thinking back to the good old intermediate days.. (when alex was still zihao or ho xp) i just can't help marvel at how things have changed.
What happened to our time together?
nothing lasts forever..
but i wish some things could.
_
hehe cheesy much?
xp
good old Vitamin C
Bye Alex =(
i mean it's not like he's the first person that ever left...
and he IS coming back to visit... in 4 months
but it just seems like i've lost something. We have drifted apart a little in the past few years i suppose but i never hesitated to say he was one of my close friends.
Thinking back to the good old intermediate days.. (when alex was still zihao or ho xp) i just can't help marvel at how things have changed.
What happened to our time together?
nothing lasts forever..
but i wish some things could.
_
Thursday, August 12, 2010
hit the gas
there ain't no brakes on this lost highway
hey! hey!
Bon Jovi <3
So awesome.
and his songs are so inspirational sometimes
-fangirl moment-
hehe~~
the thing is though, this song is about finding your way... just charging forward even if you seem lost
but
i havent found mine...
and i can't just go, speed down that highway that is life
i cant say goodbye to yesterday....
it's not that easy.
i guess bon jovi is old...
maybe it's time for him to look back on life
=P
whereas i'm still young.
but then.
doesn't that mean i SHOULD just take chances with life?
and say farewell to mediocrity?
When i was young i used to look forward to every coming year, thinking that life was just gonna get better and better...
but now, i dont think so anymore.
it's not gonna get better.
just harder.
lately...
i've been realizing more and more of my mistakes. of what went wrong.
and i have to say,
even though everyone says it isnt...
i'm scared that it is.
it's too late.
_
hey! hey!
Bon Jovi <3
So awesome.
and his songs are so inspirational sometimes
-fangirl moment-
hehe~~
the thing is though, this song is about finding your way... just charging forward even if you seem lost
but
i havent found mine...
and i can't just go, speed down that highway that is life
i cant say goodbye to yesterday....
it's not that easy.
i guess bon jovi is old...
maybe it's time for him to look back on life
=P
whereas i'm still young.
but then.
doesn't that mean i SHOULD just take chances with life?
and say farewell to mediocrity?
When i was young i used to look forward to every coming year, thinking that life was just gonna get better and better...
but now, i dont think so anymore.
it's not gonna get better.
just harder.
lately...
i've been realizing more and more of my mistakes. of what went wrong.
and i have to say,
even though everyone says it isnt...
i'm scared that it is.
it's too late.
_
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do i try, I know i'm gonna fall down.
<3
(it's from a song called Down by a myspace musician called Jason Walker. Before you judge me, cause i know you will, listen to it. it's really sad~ and has haunted me for way too long now. And yes it happens to be a song that is used in the series the vampire diaries. I swear i had no idea when i first heard it... a friend sent it to me. But honestly. it's such a good song so who cares. just find it and listen to it! )
today was a really meeeeehh day for me.
Hence the title & beginning lines of the blog. I wish i didnt have to explain it. It ruins the effect. But oh well...
the weather was brilliant.
the sky looked like this:
I know, there's not much point in a photo like this of the sky.
That dot is a bird that flew past. lol...
How can one be down when the sky is so blue? So full of promise that another beautiful day is coming?
I mean, a lot of people are sad when it rains ("no, it rains when you're sad" MIB II ftw)
But i find that a lot of the time, i'm sad on days like this.
and i dont even know why.
Is it really true that someitmes something is so beautiful that it contains heartbreaking sadness?
Or is that just me trying to be deep?
probably the latter.
As for feeling sad.
no, it's not an existential crisis.
I think it's just my emo side acting up.
haha ^^;;
i thought i'd gotten rid of it...
my bad?
(so uh. sorry for wasting an hour of your life bobby)
Lately, i've been thinking about how much things have changed.
How my perspectives have changed.
How my feelings towards people and situations have changed.
Life's just like that huh... suddenly, when it's too late, you realize what went wrong. You realize that it WAS your fault. And that you screwed up.
You realize how much you've grown up. And how much you regret.
And you laugh a little at yourself. And at everything.
And pretend you're okay with it.
But really, you dont know if you are.
Everyday when i walk home over the bridge, i run my fingers along the metal railing and listen to my ring clink against it.
It's my pondering bridge =P I always slow my footsteps down when i walk across it.
It somehow gives me a moment and feeling of peace and soberity... sometimes I even feel slightly melancholy.
Today as i walked across it, the sun was setting and everything was bathed in orange light. It was gorgeous.
no i didnt have a moment of profiund thought.
I dont think epiphanies are so easy to come by.
no but seriously.. I dont know what's wrong with me.
then again.
maybe i should just grow the hell up.
=(
I was acting slightly crazy today.
kind of like this:
except without the scissors
_
So why do i try, I know i'm gonna fall down.
<3
(it's from a song called Down by a myspace musician called Jason Walker. Before you judge me, cause i know you will, listen to it. it's really sad~ and has haunted me for way too long now. And yes it happens to be a song that is used in the series the vampire diaries. I swear i had no idea when i first heard it... a friend sent it to me. But honestly. it's such a good song so who cares. just find it and listen to it! )
today was a really meeeeehh day for me.
Hence the title & beginning lines of the blog. I wish i didnt have to explain it. It ruins the effect. But oh well...
the weather was brilliant.
the sky looked like this:
I know, there's not much point in a photo like this of the sky.
That dot is a bird that flew past. lol...
How can one be down when the sky is so blue? So full of promise that another beautiful day is coming?
I mean, a lot of people are sad when it rains ("no, it rains when you're sad" MIB II ftw)
But i find that a lot of the time, i'm sad on days like this.
and i dont even know why.
Is it really true that someitmes something is so beautiful that it contains heartbreaking sadness?
Or is that just me trying to be deep?
probably the latter.
As for feeling sad.
no, it's not an existential crisis.
I think it's just my emo side acting up.
haha ^^;;
i thought i'd gotten rid of it...
my bad?
(so uh. sorry for wasting an hour of your life bobby)
Lately, i've been thinking about how much things have changed.
How my perspectives have changed.
How my feelings towards people and situations have changed.
Life's just like that huh... suddenly, when it's too late, you realize what went wrong. You realize that it WAS your fault. And that you screwed up.
You realize how much you've grown up. And how much you regret.
And you laugh a little at yourself. And at everything.
And pretend you're okay with it.
But really, you dont know if you are.
Everyday when i walk home over the bridge, i run my fingers along the metal railing and listen to my ring clink against it.
It's my pondering bridge =P I always slow my footsteps down when i walk across it.
It somehow gives me a moment and feeling of peace and soberity... sometimes I even feel slightly melancholy.
Today as i walked across it, the sun was setting and everything was bathed in orange light. It was gorgeous.
no i didnt have a moment of profiund thought.
I dont think epiphanies are so easy to come by.
no but seriously.. I dont know what's wrong with me.
then again.
maybe i should just grow the hell up.
=(
I was acting slightly crazy today.
kind of like this:
except without the scissors
_
Monday, August 9, 2010
=(
There were so many things i'd wanted to blog about before this. I guess i just wasnt in the mood.
But just...
i dont know ><"
I didnt even want to make a big deal out of this...
but.
i'm kind of down right now.
I mean, i know i'm not exactly the most sensible person in the world....
but....
really, how many people think that i'm, in all seriousness, slutty?
there ARE people more sensible than me (well duh.)
but i think i'm allowed to categorize myself as not slutty right?
although.
i guess i deserve such an impression (if people really do have that opinion of me) beacuse.... actions speak louder than words. and i've done some stupid shit... but not THAT bad..
I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTTHING THIS TIME
><"
maybe i'm taking this too hard...
maybe i'm just being too sensitive.
nevermind.
/end rant
_
But just...
i dont know ><"
I didnt even want to make a big deal out of this...
but.
i'm kind of down right now.
I mean, i know i'm not exactly the most sensible person in the world....
but....
really, how many people think that i'm, in all seriousness, slutty?
there ARE people more sensible than me (well duh.)
but i think i'm allowed to categorize myself as not slutty right?
although.
i guess i deserve such an impression (if people really do have that opinion of me) beacuse.... actions speak louder than words. and i've done some stupid shit... but not THAT bad..
I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTTHING THIS TIME
><"
maybe i'm taking this too hard...
maybe i'm just being too sensitive.
nevermind.
/end rant
_
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