I shot for the sky

I'm stuck on the ground
So why do i try, I know i'm gonna fall down.
<3
(it's from a song called Down by a myspace musician called Jason Walker. Before you judge me, cause i know you will, listen to it. it's really sad~ and has haunted me for way too long now. And yes it happens to be a song that is used in the series the vampire diaries. I swear i had no idea when i first heard it... a friend sent it to me. But honestly. it's such a good song so who cares. just find it and listen to it! )

today was a really meeeeehh day for me.
Hence the title & beginning lines of the blog. I wish i didnt have to explain it. It ruins the effect. But oh well...

the weather was brilliant.
the sky looked like this:

I know, there's not much point in a photo like this of the sky.
That dot is a bird that flew past. lol...

How can one be down when the sky is so blue? So full of promise that another beautiful day is coming?

I mean, a lot of people are sad when it rains ("no, it rains when you're sad" MIB II ftw)
But i find that a lot of the time, i'm sad on days like this.
and i dont even know why.
Is it really true that someitmes something is so beautiful that it contains heartbreaking sadness?
Or is that just me trying to be deep?

probably the latter.

As for feeling sad.
no, it's not an existential crisis.
I think it's just my emo side acting up.
haha ^^;;
i thought i'd gotten rid of it...
my bad?
(so uh. sorry for wasting an hour of your life bobby)

Lately, i've been thinking about how much things have changed.
How my perspectives have changed.
How my feelings towards people and situations have changed.
Life's just like that huh... suddenly, when it's too late, you realize what went wrong. You realize that it WAS your fault. And that you screwed up.
You realize how much you've grown up. And how much you regret.
And you laugh a little at yourself. And at everything.
And pretend you're okay with it.
But really, you dont know if you are.

Everyday when i walk home over the bridge, i run my fingers along the metal railing and listen to my ring clink against it.
It's my pondering bridge =P I always slow my footsteps down when i walk across it.
It somehow gives me a moment and feeling of peace and soberity... sometimes I even feel slightly melancholy.
Today as i walked across it, the sun was setting and everything was bathed in orange light. It was gorgeous.
no i didnt have a moment of profiund thought.
I dont think epiphanies are so easy to come by.

no but seriously.. I dont know what's wrong with me.
then again.
maybe i should just grow the hell up.
=(

I was acting slightly crazy today.
kind of like this:

except without the scissors

_