Sometimes things, feelings, situtaions can't really be articulated.
And yet. I try.
And always, you have to wonder: do people really understand?
I hate burdening people with my feelings so I think it's better to keep to myself until i feel better.
But then. I never used to open up to other people.
And that didnt really do much for me either.
This entry already sounds selfish. I hate that. And even this thought is ironic. Because writing a blog is already a self centered action (on my part anyway) because, really, i'm putting my thoughts up online for people to read. What makes me think people care?
Anyway, that wasn't really my point.
Lately, I've been feeling crazy, or even hysterical. I can't stand myself. Or my crazy mood swings.
I'm so sorry.
I feel apologetic to everyone around me.
Sometimes i wonder if I'm just weak. I wonder if I overreact?
How can my heart wrench and my throat tighten and my eyes burn with tears so easily?
Why do i feel like shouting, screaming, crying and breaking things?
I used to be able to bear it.
But now.
Is it the breaking point?
Is it enough that every thought of the situation makes me want to throw up?
Yet.
I hate that I am so heartless. That i can say in a heartbeat that i don't really care.
wow. this doesnt really make that much sense. Each sentence kind of contradicts the previous.
But i kind of wanted to write that. Although I'm calmer than i was yesterday. Or. A few hours ago.
I want to continue. But i have to stop. My words aren't flowing and. my. thought. process. is. like. this. right. now.
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