Dear 13, 14, 15 year old self. I bet you'd be really diappointed if you saw me now.
I didn't want to turn out like this.
I don't know how it happened.
Please forgive me.
I guess sometimes in life reality hits you hard, and you realize that you've walked down a path that ultimately leads to failure.
And well. I hate it.
I really hate it.
It's not too late to turn back. I guess it's never too late to turn back.
Well. Never is a bit unrealistic.
It's not too late now at least.
But..
It's just not that easy. I'm just not sure what to do.
I don't really know how to change...
What happened?
I can think of a million reasons. I guess I should call them excuses?
But in the end, I know I have no one to blame but myself
I make/made the most difference in my own life.
You knew what you wanted to do, wanted to be, wanted to turn out like.
But I can't remember what those things were.
I just know that what I am now isn't what you wanted.
I wish i could go back and warn you.
You were so hopeful of the future.
I wish I could stop you from turning into me.
I wish that instead, that you could've become someone else.
The person you wanted to be and thought you'd be.
_
Why so emo?
ReplyDeleteYou can still make something of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI know you can.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you can do something to change =]
ReplyDeleteu got to keep trying ;]
Don't worry, nobody's ever content with their lives, no matter how successful they are (unless they are seriously successful), 'cause that's just the human condition.
ReplyDeleteReally, though, think about it.
Would it have turned out any different if you had warned yourself?
You probably would have made up another dream to follow then looked back only to disappoint yourself in an alternate universe, or told your present self to shove off and that they had everything under control and that you didn't know Jack, despite him being an extremely popular guy.
If we hadn't dreamed of becoming anything, living up to this point would have been far more depressing than what you feel at this moment.
Now, change on the other hand, is entirely up to you.
The only thing standing between you and the life you dream of are your excuses. But the question is, why would you ever make up any excuses?
Perhaps it's because you're actually afraid that you'll fail in the process.
Perhaps you wish life would stay the way it was.
Or perhaps you are actually happy and content with your life?
Like you said, in the end, it's up to you.
山重水複疑無路，柳暗花明又一村
ReplyDelete