Forgive me.
These entries are horrible and emo and... stuff.
maybe that's why i didn't publish them before.
Maybe i should've let them remain drafts.
But.. well...
I guess i should finish what i started
lol
I almost didn't post this tonight cause of the comment on my last one and how happy and touched it made me feel. but yea
finishing what i started.
_
"i'm LONELY"
someone VERY WISE once told me that i should never txt that to a guy.
heh.
so i tried it on him.
all i got was a "well played"
bastard =="
you know who you are.
I deliberately isolate myself sometimes.
To me, it's like running away for a short while.
Hiding in public library.
Hiding in Borders reading.
Walking home alone at night.
Watching a movie by myself.
Leaving my phone at home.
Sitting in Aotea Square by myself and watching people walk by.
Appearing offline, not talking to anyone and watching people sign on and off msn.
Curling up in bed when no one else is at home and pretending i'm not at home either.
Sometimes I let the loneliness wash over me.
and consume me.
And I feel so lonely that I can't stand it.
Because I want to be miserable?
that's not it.
I love being with everyone and hate being lonely.
but.
I'm just practising.
I know I'll never be content with being alone
I wish I could be though.
'cause.
something something hurt something something something.
_
haha thats like me, but the thing is, I like being alone. I like having time to myself to think and let my mind wander. I think I have an addiction to the empty feeling of loneliness. ..Is that strange?
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