you're selfish
you think the world revolves around you
you think your every whim is the most important thing in the world
you only think about your capacity to be hurt, never your ability to hurt
I'm sick of putting up with your shit.
I hate you
and I'd tell the whole world why...
if they'd believe me.
_
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
epiphany. (Rach, i still don't get why you think it sounds dirty.)
This trip to Taiwan, these three long months, have been so short. Before i know it, i'll be back in new zealand.
for awhile(sorry guys) i was so tempted to stay here, transfer my credits/points/grades whatever to a university here and do my final year in Taiwan.
But i realized, i cant run, i shouldn't run....
it's not my surroundings that should change.
It's me.
What happened to me over these 3 months? What caused this realization?
i'll tell you if you really wanna know....
i met a wise old man who told me a story of a world that'd been forgotten and gave me a magical necklace that had the power to save the world and i found myself sucked into an alternate universe. So, because i had no choice i set out on a quest to ensure that the world would not fall to evil and on the way i met a knight who was looking for a beautiful princess to save and i told him to come with me first and i'd help him find a his princess afterwards. So he came with me on a quest to save the world from darkness and on the way we also met a teenageer who always felt he didnt fit in and also his loyal parrot what makes really dry jokes.We all argued a lot at first but we soon learned to trust and rely on each other and we each revealed something deep dark and secret about ourselves while sitting around a campfire. I realised i was the only one who could save the world but i cracked under the pressure and threw the magical necklace away and ran away but then my newfound friends found me and gave me courage again by telling me that they cared about me and believed in me. So we carried on with our quest and then we met some enemies but our bond and friendship gave us a special magic that conquered all evil. We finally saved the world and the magical necklace shattered into a million pieces. I felt that i didnt have much time left in the alternate universe because, i ultimately didnt belong there so i apologized to the knight and told him i was sorry i couldn't help him find his princess. "I did," he replied and reached out to hug me but at that moment i was sucked into a vortex and i found myself back in our universe as if i had never left. It left me with a feeling of heartache but also wonder and warmth and realised i was a stronger person because my friends would be somewhere out there watching over me, giving me strength and courage.
LOL
LIKE MY STORY??
there's adventure, friendship, romance, good conquering evil, all that good stuff.
the type of stuff that changes someone.
sorry. i'm just being stupid.
none of that stuff happened to me (NO KIDDING AMY)
What i was trying to emphasize with my "cliche-movie-which-probably-only-attracted-people's-attention-was-because-it-was-in-3D" story was that nothing amazingly drastic happened to me.
but i still like to think that i've changed.
even if it's not obvious, i hope it eventually will be.
I want to change if i haven't already.
I'm so glad i came back to taiwan.
I missed out on a lot back in nz.
but i also gained a lot.
of weight.
just kidding.. xP
I gained a lot of experience, a lot of knowledge about myself.
I got a chance to start over, be a different person in a different environment.
Then, i realized i didn't make full use of my chance.
But that doesn't matter.
Because it made me realize what kind of person i want to be
and well.
i wanna work hard towards that ^^
So if i'm slightly different when i get back, if you feel like i've changed, will you guys promise you'll give me chance?
and if i haven't, promise not to mock me about writing all this?
lol
i'm just being hopeful because i think this attitude/mindset shift was long overdue.
by about 2 years.
_
for awhile(sorry guys) i was so tempted to stay here, transfer my credits/points/grades whatever to a university here and do my final year in Taiwan.
But i realized, i cant run, i shouldn't run....
it's not my surroundings that should change.
It's me.
What happened to me over these 3 months? What caused this realization?
i'll tell you if you really wanna know....
i met a wise old man who told me a story of a world that'd been forgotten and gave me a magical necklace that had the power to save the world and i found myself sucked into an alternate universe. So, because i had no choice i set out on a quest to ensure that the world would not fall to evil and on the way i met a knight who was looking for a beautiful princess to save and i told him to come with me first and i'd help him find a his princess afterwards. So he came with me on a quest to save the world from darkness and on the way we also met a teenageer who always felt he didnt fit in and also his loyal parrot what makes really dry jokes.We all argued a lot at first but we soon learned to trust and rely on each other and we each revealed something deep dark and secret about ourselves while sitting around a campfire. I realised i was the only one who could save the world but i cracked under the pressure and threw the magical necklace away and ran away but then my newfound friends found me and gave me courage again by telling me that they cared about me and believed in me. So we carried on with our quest and then we met some enemies but our bond and friendship gave us a special magic that conquered all evil. We finally saved the world and the magical necklace shattered into a million pieces. I felt that i didnt have much time left in the alternate universe because, i ultimately didnt belong there so i apologized to the knight and told him i was sorry i couldn't help him find his princess. "I did," he replied and reached out to hug me but at that moment i was sucked into a vortex and i found myself back in our universe as if i had never left. It left me with a feeling of heartache but also wonder and warmth and realised i was a stronger person because my friends would be somewhere out there watching over me, giving me strength and courage.
LOL
LIKE MY STORY??
there's adventure, friendship, romance, good conquering evil, all that good stuff.
the type of stuff that changes someone.
sorry. i'm just being stupid.
none of that stuff happened to me (NO KIDDING AMY)
What i was trying to emphasize with my "cliche-movie-which-probably-only-attracted-people's-attention-was-because-it-was-in-3D" story was that nothing amazingly drastic happened to me.
but i still like to think that i've changed.
even if it's not obvious, i hope it eventually will be.
I want to change if i haven't already.
I'm so glad i came back to taiwan.
I missed out on a lot back in nz.
but i also gained a lot.
of weight.
just kidding.. xP
I gained a lot of experience, a lot of knowledge about myself.
I got a chance to start over, be a different person in a different environment.
Then, i realized i didn't make full use of my chance.
But that doesn't matter.
Because it made me realize what kind of person i want to be
and well.
i wanna work hard towards that ^^
So if i'm slightly different when i get back, if you feel like i've changed, will you guys promise you'll give me chance?
and if i haven't, promise not to mock me about writing all this?
lol
i'm just being hopeful because i think this attitude/mindset shift was long overdue.
by about 2 years.
_
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A me telling you about what i've been up to entry
So uh hey. long time no blog. you guys haven't had to put up with me for awhile...
so forgive me that this entry is really long.
So.. sunday.. had company employee dinner at six, had to get there by 4 to help set up and stuff so coulda slept in till like 1pm or something but didn't. Instead, got up at a reasonable hour, met some friends, played some pool and realized i've lost lots of skill points in this game lol.
Headed over to company event on my friend's motorbike and we got into a minor accident on the way...
got raged at by angry driver
friend hurt her foot so another one of my coworkers came and picked me up.
finally reached our destination. was late for dress rehearsal for our performance but all good, we'd practiced it all before...
Event started, listened to some boring speeches made by our CEO, some education people, some school's principal, some random politician and we cheered and clapped, did some repetitive shouting.
(NB I work at a cram school which is like tutoring school times a million. lol. it's a bigger company/organization that you'd imagine. there can be over a hundred students in each class, for example).
Then we performed (it's funny when you spend so many weeks practicing and practicing something but when you finally perform it, it's over before you know it.)
Sat down to eat and watched performances by the other zones. Our company is pretty big and has a school/department in 5 different areas of Taipei. These performances are a competition between the zones.
Realized that our performance got owned by all the others'. They all had hot girls and hot guys doing these pro hip hop popping locking blah blah breakdancing step up 2-esque routines. (omg especially the girls TT"" hot girls wearing huge white shirt so they have something to take off during the dance to reveal short tank tops or hot girls wearing ripped tops and they were all wearing hot pants.)
HOW COULD WE COMPETE WITH THAT.
we did an easy/silly/cute dance routine and then sang an old song.... WE WERE GOING FOR CUTE and HEARTWARMING... i actually liked it..
but heatwarming v.s sexy?
sex always wins.
SO yea, ate some average food and drank some average wine. Downed a full wine glass of whiskey... Oh yeah, that's right, i'm all class. Cheered and yelled and chanted a bit more and raised our glasses to our CEO and everyone higher up in the company hierachy... which is like, everyone pretty much. we are the lowest ones...
lol.
So a bunch of us waited till our boss was tipsy and we all went and drank to him saying how grateful we were to him and blah blah and that we didnt want him to give us a raise or him to give us bonuses... just could he please shout us karaoke after dinner?
There were like.... over 10 of us... felt so bad for him lol.. but he finally agreed.
so we all headed to ximending a really busy part of taipei dominated mostly by young people. so awesome...
shopping there is like... omggg.... so awesome.
AND GUESS WHO I SAW THERE SARAH !!
羅志祥 signing posters!!
omggggg hahahahhaaa so happy.
he's a famous taiwanese singer.. for those of you who don't know.
and he's super hot.. well in my opinion. yes i have a HUGE fangirl crush on him.
was worth standing in the cold...
actually not really.
IT WAS FRICKIN FREEZING. and i was wearing shorts and pantyhose (performance dress code)
pantyhose are like a million times thinner than stockings or tights. omggggggg i felt like my legs we frozen.
FUCK it was SO cold. i still can't forget the feeling even now.
SO we started singing at 11 and sang for the next 7 hours. Yes, SEVEN.
it was awesome. like actually so awesome. i've always wanted to sing k the whole night. my wish has finally been fulfilled lol.
and some of the guys were so REALLY good singers... like super pro i-can-hit-really-high-notes-without-falsetto. or even much effort, really.
and one of the guys sounded exactly like 蕭敬騰 (another famous taiwanese singer) when he sings...
i was like "...autograph please" lol
by the time morning came around we were all losing our voices but we just kept singing louder and harder and laughed at the people whose voices broke.
hehe~ had so much fun.
got home at 7 am. showered, slept for 3 hours, went to work and just got home and hour ago.
i feel like a young person again!!
^^;;;;;;
CHINESE NEW YEAR IN A COUPLE OF DAYS !!
get a week off ! yusss so happy =]
gonna get fat over this coming week...
but i dont care cause the food is just too good during new years to even consider not eating lots. lol.
okay, i'll let you go now.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i'm in a good mood, can you tell?
i wanted to add photos but didnt know where to place them. will upload onto facebook. yes i have facebook again. i know, no morals right?
byeeeeeeeeeeee
thought. will no one read my blogs anymore now that i'm on fb again?
_
so forgive me that this entry is really long.
So.. sunday.. had company employee dinner at six, had to get there by 4 to help set up and stuff so coulda slept in till like 1pm or something but didn't. Instead, got up at a reasonable hour, met some friends, played some pool and realized i've lost lots of skill points in this game lol.
Headed over to company event on my friend's motorbike and we got into a minor accident on the way...
got raged at by angry driver
friend hurt her foot so another one of my coworkers came and picked me up.
finally reached our destination. was late for dress rehearsal for our performance but all good, we'd practiced it all before...
Event started, listened to some boring speeches made by our CEO, some education people, some school's principal, some random politician and we cheered and clapped, did some repetitive shouting.
(NB I work at a cram school which is like tutoring school times a million. lol. it's a bigger company/organization that you'd imagine. there can be over a hundred students in each class, for example).
Then we performed (it's funny when you spend so many weeks practicing and practicing something but when you finally perform it, it's over before you know it.)
Sat down to eat and watched performances by the other zones. Our company is pretty big and has a school/department in 5 different areas of Taipei. These performances are a competition between the zones.
Realized that our performance got owned by all the others'. They all had hot girls and hot guys doing these pro hip hop popping locking blah blah breakdancing step up 2-esque routines. (omg especially the girls TT"" hot girls wearing huge white shirt so they have something to take off during the dance to reveal short tank tops or hot girls wearing ripped tops and they were all wearing hot pants.)
HOW COULD WE COMPETE WITH THAT.
we did an easy/silly/cute dance routine and then sang an old song.... WE WERE GOING FOR CUTE and HEARTWARMING... i actually liked it..
but heatwarming v.s sexy?
sex always wins.
SO yea, ate some average food and drank some average wine. Downed a full wine glass of whiskey... Oh yeah, that's right, i'm all class. Cheered and yelled and chanted a bit more and raised our glasses to our CEO and everyone higher up in the company hierachy... which is like, everyone pretty much. we are the lowest ones...
lol.
So a bunch of us waited till our boss was tipsy and we all went and drank to him saying how grateful we were to him and blah blah and that we didnt want him to give us a raise or him to give us bonuses... just could he please shout us karaoke after dinner?
There were like.... over 10 of us... felt so bad for him lol.. but he finally agreed.
so we all headed to ximending a really busy part of taipei dominated mostly by young people. so awesome...
shopping there is like... omggg.... so awesome.
AND GUESS WHO I SAW THERE SARAH !!
羅志祥 signing posters!!
omggggg hahahahhaaa so happy.
he's a famous taiwanese singer.. for those of you who don't know.
and he's super hot.. well in my opinion. yes i have a HUGE fangirl crush on him.
was worth standing in the cold...
actually not really.
IT WAS FRICKIN FREEZING. and i was wearing shorts and pantyhose (performance dress code)
pantyhose are like a million times thinner than stockings or tights. omggggggg i felt like my legs we frozen.
FUCK it was SO cold. i still can't forget the feeling even now.
SO we started singing at 11 and sang for the next 7 hours. Yes, SEVEN.
it was awesome. like actually so awesome. i've always wanted to sing k the whole night. my wish has finally been fulfilled lol.
and some of the guys were so REALLY good singers... like super pro i-can-hit-really-high-notes-without-falsetto. or even much effort, really.
and one of the guys sounded exactly like 蕭敬騰 (another famous taiwanese singer) when he sings...
i was like "...autograph please" lol
by the time morning came around we were all losing our voices but we just kept singing louder and harder and laughed at the people whose voices broke.
hehe~ had so much fun.
got home at 7 am. showered, slept for 3 hours, went to work and just got home and hour ago.
i feel like a young person again!!
^^;;;;;;
CHINESE NEW YEAR IN A COUPLE OF DAYS !!
get a week off ! yusss so happy =]
gonna get fat over this coming week...
but i dont care cause the food is just too good during new years to even consider not eating lots. lol.
okay, i'll let you go now.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i'm in a good mood, can you tell?
i wanted to add photos but didnt know where to place them. will upload onto facebook. yes i have facebook again. i know, no morals right?
byeeeeeeeeeeee
thought. will no one read my blogs anymore now that i'm on fb again?
_
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