Why is goodbye so hard?
I never loved you anyway.
Harsh, I know,
but reality is.
 Though,
if you hadn't smiled at me that day,
perhaps things would be different.

I'd hated my time with you.
each silence sparked by a sentence left unsaid
was like a splinter
stuck under my skin, in my flesh
and I feel, even now, those
sudden sharp stabs.
Oh how I regret letting them
scratch at my tongue, at the insides of my mouth.
My malice wasn't easy to contain you know,
but I hadn't wanted to damage you that much.
Just... Enough.

And I'd hoped the damage dealt would be
 like papercuts -
sudden, unexpected, clean..
Invisible at first, you'd think nothing of it until
the pain, delayed by a millisecond,
would catch up, sink in.
The blood would surface, slowly at first
then suddenly, all at once.
Like the look of surprise spreading across your face.

And best of all,
papercuts are slow healing.
you'd hold a pen,
touch a piano key
 flinch
and be reminded of my words, your wounds.

_