This is the first time

that I've cried and a didn't feel a weight lift off my chest. My heart doesn't feel lighter and I don't feel a sense of relief.
I think it no longer works that way. Or maybe it never worked that way.
Crying isn't, and never was, a magical process that eliminated my worries and problems, I guess I just... always felt better after crying because, well, it relieves stress (first of all) but also, I guess I'd come to some conclusion or realisation or decision.
But now, as I sit here with swollen eyes, I don't feel even a tiny bit better.
The only thing is that I've calmed down a little.

I don't think I believe that everything will turn out okay anymore.
Maybe that's the problem
_