Maybe I am a bad judge of character?
Maybe I care about the wrong people, place my trust in the wrong people, stand by the wrong people, until, in the end, I end up disappointed again.
okay, maybe I'm just being a BIT melodramatic. But honestly, I don't know how else to describe how I'm feeling.
I've always been the type to treasure my friends above all else, I've always stood by my close friends, felt blessed to have them, because I know it's hard to find friendships that really last. I'm not very good at making friends, so when I become close to someone, I hold onto the friendship because I realise that it's something precious.
I don't know if that makes me a pushover. Or if that makes me pathetic.
The fact that I don't wanna argue with you... why does that make you angry? Why do you have the right to treat me like this? The fact that I accept what you have to say, with little complaint when you're insulting the people I care about... why do you then have the right to turn around and say to me "have you given up on our friendship?"
You've been treating me like crap these past weeks and I haven't said shit to you.
You're constantly dissing me and the people the matter to me and still I talk to you, wanna hear about your life, wanna be friends.
I thought it was just a phase or something. I thought you'd get over it.
And then you give me a shitty excuse 'explaining' why you've been acting this way.
Decide you're gonna ignore me.
And then, when you see fit, talk to me again.
Only to continue saying things that you know will hurt me.
Maybe we have different views on what friendship should be like.
But you know, I don't think it's all that different.
I too, am honest with my friends, tell them what I think is best for them, care about them, hope they'll take my advice.
But I think the difference is that in the end, I think being a good friend means supporting their decisions. And being there for them, if things do turn out badly.
Are you just frustrated that I'm not taking your advice? Beacuse you think you know what's best for me?
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that you care so much about me. I appreciate that you want the best for me. But please, don't assume I'm stupid. Don't assume you know better than me. Don't assume that I can't make my own judgements.
You know, I've always defended you, I've always valued your opinion, your advice, your friendship. You're such an important friend of mine
to the extent that after all that, I was like "fine, it's okay, I'll put up with everything, I wanna be friends"
But still you just couldn't drop it.
I guess I'm just not as important to you as I thought. You just can't get over yourself.
_
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