Received some really bad news at the beginning of this week.

At first I thought I was okay, since it didn't really come as a shock but then.. I guess my mood just slowly deteriorated as the week went on.
I thought I wouldn't cry. But I guess I can still surprise myself sometimes, huh..

I think today I finally experienced what it's like to be kinda grown up and responsible. Maybe.
I was feeling really horrible today and all teary-eyed and shit but despite how much I wanted to come home and crawl into bed, I still had to face going to work.
The world keeps spinning even if you need a break (I know, how cliche)
Anyway, on the way there, the thought of dealing with primary kids for three hours filled me with so much dread I wanted to turn and just run away.
But work isn't like a uni lecture I can just skip (omg real world! Don't think I'm gonna like it ay)

I'm pretty surprised actually, that I'm in a better mood now.
Maybe it was the kids and their childish carefree energy... Their enthusiasm over something as simple as hangman, their incessant laughter or being pleasantly surprised about their reading/spelling level lol..
I'm actually feeling a lot more lighthearted. I hope it'll last me the rest of the night.
I hate having to go on as if everything's okay. I hate forgetting for only a few seconds but then feeling terrible as your laughter dies and you remember why you wanted so bad to laugh.
I'd rather be actually okay.
But it won't go away so easily this time
_