I'm so sick of it

I'm seriously so so so sick of people just.. being so god damn fake everyday.
Just.... sigh.
Like, I don't know why but lately, I've just become more and more aware of it.
and it's really starting to piss me off.
I think that's why I've really enjoyed being alone lately. I'm the best company. Lol jokes, I'm really not. But I'd rather be alone than to have to put on that voice and that smile and make that effort to not just turn around and walk away when some people open their mouths. But that hardly applies to me. When I say something, I mean it. When I don't like someone, I will either just ignore them or try not to talk to them. People can sense when I don't like them lol. Maybe I'm just too hostile..

Lol I'm being all "OMGZ I H8 FAKERZZZ" 14 year old angsty "I AM ME 4 LYF" aren't I?
I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be.

I realise that as we grow up, we have begin to act in a way which allows us to function well in everyday society. I realise that you can't just ignore everyone you hate and you can't just go round telling people what you really think of them... but...
There's a difference between being polite/civil (maybe even pleasant) and grovelling at the feet of someone whom you have no desire to associate with. 
Okay, so maybe that's a bit harsh.
But my theory is, if you hate someone, or highly dislike someone to an extent that you will bitch about them behind their back constantly then maybe, just maybe, you don't act delighted to see them?
Just a suggestion.
Maybe you smile at them politely, maybe you exchange a few words but don't be like "zomg how have you been babe??"
I don't get it.

Like, there are those people that everyone discusses. "oh she's a slut" "oh she's a bitch" "I hate her" "she's not even pretty" "she's so annoying" blah blah blah but then, when they see her they're like "HEYYYYYYYY" etc etc
I'm not talking about any one person in particular, don't misunderstand.

Maybe I'm just a bitch? When I really dislike someone, I just don't go and talk to them! I don't initiate conversations with them! Why would I?
I just don't say hi to them unless I have to.
But people (and lots of people) do this!
I just don't understand it.
Yea, yea, you don't have to make enemies.
Yea, yea it's good to build social ties. But I just think that maybe, just maybe, people should stand up more for what they believe in.
If you don't like someone, consider why. Did they offend your morals? Hurt your friend? If they're people who have done things you dislike or constantly act in a way that annoys you, surely you have nothing to gain from continuing to associate with them?  Surely missing someone like that from your life is no big deal? Surely people won't judge you for disliking someone?
Everyone's different. Not everyone gets along. I thought that was an established thing.
Apparently not.

People nowadays are so afraid of being disliked or judged that they swallow their pride, their conscience, their sense of righteousness, their morals. People want to be liked by everyone, they want to please everyone.
But...

So what if you have one or two people who dislike you? Seriously, does it really matter that much?

As Churchill said"you have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life" (although everyone seems to think that it belongs to Eminem. The quote, that is.) 

But whoever said it, I admire them and agree with them. 

But then again, is it just me? Am I just too hateful? Am I just too fixated on things? Should I just make things easier for myself?

It really freaking makes me feel sick. I can't stand it. But... majority rules?

wtf is wrong with my line spacing :S
_

great pickup line/compliment:

"Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you"

                                                                                -Richard Brinsley Sheridan

_

Today

instead of going to uni to study, I sat in bed, on the side close to the window, and for the fifth time, I started to read "The history of love" by Nicole Karuss.

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

Rainy days in bed with a book and a cup of tea. What could be better?
But as i read, i suddenly felt a surge of annoyance, a wave of impatience at this world.

Why the does the world have to be so full of despair, full of suffering, full of war, full of misunderstanding, full of miscommunication, full of loss, full of pain, full of loneliness, full of sadness, so full of tears, full of lies, full of fear, full of fragility and so full of heartache?
Why are people so stubborn, so sad, so curious, so proud, so prone to mistakes, so inevitably self destructive?

“so many words get lost. they leave the mouth and lose their courage, wandering aimlessly until they are swept into the gutter like dead leaves.”

_

2010 closure: five

okay so i lied
i'm sorry but i can't post the last one.
it's... just..
well... i can't do it.
it's too personal. too blatantly pathetic.
but i also can't bring myself to delete it.
so... uhh.. yea.
let me hang on to one thing from 2010 okay?
it'll probably end up in a folder i have, specifically for things like this lol

So Mac quoted this to me from How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe: A Novel

" I don't miss him any more. Most of the time, anyway. I want to. I wish I could but unfortunately, it's true: time does heal. It will do so whether you like it or not, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. If you're not careful, time will take away everything that ever hurt you, everything you have ever lost, and replace it with knowledge. Time is a machine: it will convert your pain into experience. Raw data will be compiled, will be translated into a more comprehensible language. The individual events of your life will be transmuted into another substance called memory and in the mechanism something will be lost and you will never be able to reverse it, you will never again have the original moment back in its uncategorised, preprocessed state. It will force you to move on and you will not have a choice in the matter. "


and well. it really got to me.
(i really want to read this book now)
but i also felt that it was a good way to end my year of thinking about the past and being emo and regretful etc etc
and
all that jazz.
 
_