I wonder if they read this, if each of my old friends would be able to pick out the ones referring to them. I wonder how much they remember.

remember when we talked everyday?
remember when we hung out?
remember when you said i'd better not forget you?
and I said i'd never do such a thing?
remember when i knew what was going on in your life
and you knew what was going on in mine?
When i could predict your response to my questions?
(beacuse i asked them to hear that specific response and you knew that so you obliged?)
remember when you didn't seem so far away?
Remember?
Remember when I went to you when i was troubled?
and you came to me?
remember when my name was said in conjunction to yours?
remember when you always stuck up for me?
remember when you let me copy your homework?
and when i helped you cheat in that test?
remember when i'd txt you when i finished my essays?
remember laughing so hard we couldn't breathe?
remember sitting at the back in maths class and mucking around?
remember our immature ruler jokes? and your not being about to tell the difference between a compass and a protractor? and how we never let that one slide?
remember our stupid code names?
and the word association games we played to come up with them?
remember talking on the phone everyday?
remember txting everyday?
remember chasing each other around the empty classroom?
remember when you pretended to choke me everytime you saw me?
remember playing cards during lunchtimes in the empty psych room?
remember helping me pass that level on supermario galaxy?
remember telling me how your cake collapsed?
remember playing the song lyrics game?
remember telling me what songs to listen to?
remember your stupid birthday muffin? with the stupid 'candles'?
remember our failed suprise party?
remember how you named  my plushies after the boys in the class and I got mad?
remember text information management? remember Mr Clarke?
remember 'swanlings'?
remember when our japanese teacher said "is that a door?" to a window?
and we couldn't stop laughing everytime we mentioned it?
remember when we tried to make you let your hair down?
remember going to the library in the mornings?
and sitting around that one table?
remember calling me up at 12am so we could work out a maths problem?
remember when I yelled at you all the time?
remember when we wrote each other emails?
remember doing homework at each other's houses?
remember when I fell off the bus when I was on the phone to you?
remember when I plaited your hair?
remember our msn mass convos?
remember blogging? msn spaces?
remember writing ridiculous testimonials for each other on hi5?
remember eating behind our textbooks in japanese class?
remember falling asleep in japanese class?
remember calling each other after we'd both cried?
remember playing truth or dare in english class?
and being dared to touch the teacher's hair?
remember the relief when we discovered we all hated the same person?
remember our spot under the stairs?
and then on the stairs? (or was it the other way around?)
remember playing netball in that pouring rain at lunchtime?
and arriving to class completely drenched?
remember our fail sticker photos?
remember sitting outside the public library?
remember our secrets?
remember our idiocy?

now i never see you
now i only bump into you on the stairs at uni
now i see you at bus stops but don't stop to say hi
now i txt you once in awhile to say we should catch up.. but we don't
now i can only like the things you post on facebook
now when we bump into each other i wonder awkwardly if we should hug
now i sometimes don't recognise you until a few seconds too late for me to say hi
now i avoid you at all costs

but still, my ears perk up when i hear your name
but still I miss you

to all my friends that I've lost...
I wish I hadn't screwed up.
I wish you were all still by my side.
not that i don't love my current friends to bits.
cause i do.
but still.

_